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Many of your symptoms call to mind the "pelvic pain syndromes", that is, pain in the lower abdomen and pelvis due to chronic muscle spasm and inflammation. You certainly have had many of the predisposing insults to that part of your body. Most of the symptoms of pelvic pain or discomfort, urinary frequency and urgency, and pain related to sitting, reclining, lying down or sexual activity in cases diagnosed as prostatitis are not related to infection but are caused by chronically tightened muscles in and around the pelvis. Our natural protective instincts can tighten the pelvic basin, causing pain and other perplexing and distressing symptoms. Once the condition starts, the symptoms tend to have a life of their own.
And the good news is that it is possible for a large majority of sufferers to reduce and sometimes eliminate symptoms. The groundbreaking book, A Headache in the Pelvis: A New Understanding and Treatment for Prostatitis and Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndromes, by Drs. David Wise and Rodney Anderson, describes how chronic tension in the pelvic muscles can cause many of the bewildering symptoms of prostatitis and chronic pelvic pain syndromes.
The absolute experts on this are at Stanford University, Urology Dept., but practitioners who can make this diagnosis and treat it, are in many communities.
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